babies were throwing up all over the place
this beer tastes like vomit already
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
