I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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