how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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