He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hippo gnu deer
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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