I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize