david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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