some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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