You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Randomize
