it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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