i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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