The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Randomize
