You were right. It hurts to walk today.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
