Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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