so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
