Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
