Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
