Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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