OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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