I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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