i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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