Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
