you mean i was at the winter classic?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
