Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
