you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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