I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize