Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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