I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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