i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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