Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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