White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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