This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
