haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
