Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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