Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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