I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
its liver damage thursday
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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