With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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