I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
