I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
