FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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