i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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