i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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