On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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