You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize