just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
