Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
