i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
