who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
