WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
