hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
