he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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