I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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