haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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