yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
