OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
