is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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