I heard we made out
Jerry, you need to find god
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
