Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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