why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
