i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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