Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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