I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
