Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
