So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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