You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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