Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize