Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
