I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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