Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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